09 November 2006

Thursday - Our Staff Are Our Most Valuable Asset

We've been under the kosh this week due to a sickness bug that has decimated the customer complaints team. Both Jo and Gareth have been off since Monday. Kate and Ted, as expected have battled on but Dan has hinted that he too, is starting to suffer. I expect he's planning a long weekend.

We had our weekly team leader meeting in Anne's hole in the morning. Anne berated the staff for their absence levels, ulimately worried about how this looks with head office. Its all reported back to them monthly.

"We've got to tighten up on sickness related absence," said Anne. "Its always the same names letting everyone else down and increasing workloads for the whole department."

"You've got to look at the underlying cause," I commented. "If staff are happy in their work then they will make the extra effort to come in if they're feeling a bit run down. But at the moment morale is low and backlogs are excessive. They feel unappreciated and no-one is listening to them."

Anne thought over this. Jez appeared a little shocked but Tracey was nodding.

"Well," said Anne sternly. "If they don't like it they can just go and get another job." She said, proving my point.

03 November 2006

Friday - Ol' Beardy Face

Gareth and Dan are going to have a beard growing competition. They've asked Ted and me to join in but I've had to turn them down citing earlier gf statements that she wouldn't kiss me when I had a bit of stubbley growth on my chin. Ted doesn't want to look like Santa Claus's anorexic younger brother so he's also turned them down.

"I can feel it itching already, " said Dan stoking his cheeks. "I don't know if I can keep this up."

Kate, eager to please, chased up her system enhancements document, that was currently buried beneath a mountain of invoices on Anne's desk. I glanced towards Anne's cave, where she prowled like a hungry bear with a hangover. The dark clouds above her alcove did not bode well and I didn't want to be the person to be prodding her with a short stick.

Kate looked at me expectantly.
"I'll go and see if Anne's reviewed it yet," I said bravely

I peered over the partition and asked Anne in my most inoffensive tone, whether she'd looked at Kate's document.

At first she appeared to be taken aback and didn't remember the document I was referring to.

"I know. Yes. There's some detail missing from it," She said.

"What's that?"

"I need a cost/savings analysis."

"That's already in the report."

Anne blinked in surprise before regaining her composure.

"No." She said firmly as if I was the one who wasn't listening. "I need more detail." She said.

"Sorry, what detail?"

"I've got some telephone conferences to attend. Can we discuss this Monday?" She answered.

02 November 2006

Thursday - Kid Gloves

Jo's appraisal. I tracked her down in the rest room and overheard her talking to Dan before I dragged her along to the interview room.

"I'm really nervous," Jo told Dan.

"You'll be all right. You'll just flutter those eyelashes and he'll forgive you anything."

"I'm not like that. He had to have a word with me about lateness and sickness this year,"

"Oh sorry Luke. I promise I'll be a good girl from now on," Dan said bending backwards and fluttering his eyelashes at Jo.

I cleared my throat to give them warning and entered the room. Dan almost spilt his coffee over himself.

"Ready Jo?" I said, pretending that I hadn't heard any of the earlier conversation.

She cast Dan a look as we left for the interview room, like that of the condemned (wo)man walking the green mile.

Jo was right in that the main issue with her work output was her loose grasp of the concept of punctuality and the number of hangovers she'd had to face under the guise of food poisonings, migraines and viral infections. Jo wasn't as dispassionate as she appeared. She had been known on rare occassions to burst into a flood of tears, usually after one of Anne's barbed comments. I had to raise this subject with her and after overhearing her earlier concerns, very, very, carefully and with a immense amount of compassion.

Fifteen minutes later and I'd run out of tissues.

"It's ok," I said. "You just need to be careful of your sickness levels,"

"But you said I'd be sacked," Jo cried, he face burried within a crumpled mass of kleenex.

"No. I said that if you take too many days then as you know your performance will be reviewed under second level sickness procedures which can lead to a dismissal for ineffective performance,"

"You're saying I'm ineffective," wailed Jo.

I was fed up of this. "It's ok," I said, for once thanking Anne. "You've got a 3 anyway,"