Friday 31st March - The Cake Flag

I love Friday's. Dress down day before the weekend. The atmosphere in the office always seems to be a lot more relaxed just because we're wearing denim. AS though seems to have some sort of allergy to casual clothing. In a moment of sudden clarity I realise that she has worn the same black shapeless tent every day of the week for the last five years, leaving me to wonder what she changes into when she gets home?

Jo was very relaxed when she sat down at her desk fifteen minutes after her shift began. It wouldn't have been so bad but she needed a break the instant she'd switched on her monitor and visited the rest room to get herself a coffee while her machine churned its way through virus protection software and overnight updates. Even when I very subtlely said "Good Morning" to her, the only response was a very pleasant and breezy "Good Morning" back. Disappointingly there was not a jot of sheepishness in her tone and I had to have my friendly 'Please be in on time, because its not fair to the rest of the team," chat to which she nodded rhythmically, but that could have been more to do with the Chicco tune that has apparently been banging around her mind for the past week.

Gareth kicked off today because the cake flag was on his desk. Never before has a piece of plastic created so much controversy. The cake flag is a novelty banner placed on a team member's workstation every Friday. Its just a bit of fun as Keith Barrett would say. Whoever has the flag has to get cakes for their colleagues and so far Kate, Jo and I have obliged with protocol. Gareth however was in no mood to shell out of his 'already meagre pay' and didn't see why he should have to buy cakes for his colleagues. In his words I 'should be the one buying cakes every day because I'm on much more money than them'. There was a brief debate from the team about the price of iced fingers and custard slices before I agreed that he could opt out of the cake rota before things got out of control. It's his money after all. But this decision created further controversy. Jo complained very loudly that he didn't mind receiving a Belgian Bun from her the previous week and he should at least repay her in kind. At this point Dan then very unhelpfully offered to take Gareth's debt for him (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).
The cake flag passed back to me for today but Ted, Gareth and Dan have now agreed to forgo their cake receiving rights because they don't want to have fork out when its their turn.

I noticed AS's head starting to bop furiously behind the dividers and before I could put a stop to the chatter, she'd popped her head over the pod dividers and very encouragingly told us all to 'Shut up and stop our pathetic whinging!"

I want to find some sand so I can bury my head in it. Thank god its the weekend.

Extra -

Extraordinary. There. Got it. That'll teach me to rely too heavily on spellchecker.

One more thing ....

I've had a sudden panic attack. People have been sacked for writing blogs about their places of work.

I need to check that the blogs secure. It is. The names are cunningly disguised. AS will never know. And if you're wondering what company it is I work for. Well then I'm not telling for obvious reasons. I will say no more than I live and work in a major British city (ha. Not even giving you the nation - England, Scotland, Wales, NI have a guess) and that the company is a large national company which is part of an even bigger multi-national.

There I've said enough.

Meet the Team:

Hi and welcome to the diary of a wage slave. Before we continue let me briefly introduce you to some of the key characters that we'll meet on our journey. The names have been changed, but the situations haven't!

Me - Luke Willshire - Team Leader extrodinaire (or so I like to believe, I've ruined that statement with my inability to spell)

Kate Garratt - My trusted number two. If she had her way she'd be MD by Christmas.

Dan Musto - or LL Cool D. We call him scarecrow behind his back because he scares away the birds.

Gareth Evans - our little Welsh militant chappie. Che Gueverra is his hero.

Jo Molyneux - the baby of the team. Her handbag is full of resolve and she's forever puzzling over the new numbers that appear on her mobile after a night out on the sherbert.

Ted Cobb - Not a father figure, more a grandad figure. Ted used to be something big in the City - the London Eye - ha, ha! No. Please don't. Anyhow he was made redundant and we took him in. He's happy to bide his time and wait for that pension to land on his doormat.

And finally my boss, Anne Sullivan, Customer Service Manager of our unnamed company. I shan't give you a precis of her. Not yet anyway. Let the blog speak for itself. But just consider the fact that I was originally going to call it Mad Bad Boss enough for now....

Until the first posting --