I have a boss who is a female misogynist. She doesn't believe in any "touchy-feely" stuff and thinks that staff development is a plotline from Lord of the Rings. To her, people should do as she says because "She is the boss" and it doesn't matter how insane or petty the order, that is all that matters. To her, all staff are moronic imbeciles who cannot do anything right and do not deserve anything other than abuse.
My boss lies, cheats and bullies and has no understanding of the concept of leading by example.
I've a sneaking suspicion - or it may even be a vague hope - that I've been transported back to the year 1973 just like John Simm in "Life on Mars".
Except in my case the boss in question is fatter, uglier and hairier than Gene Hunt.
21 February 2007
20 February 2007
Tuesday - The Bitches of East Wing
Tension is building up between my team and Jez's. It's now almost a daily occurance for Anne to pull me to one side because - someone somewhere has said that someone in my team has done something that they shouldn't have. Not that I'm one to apportion fault but this blame-throwing has a distinct Jez aroma to it.
Today it was the high volume of calls.
"Handled rates were particularly low yesterday," said Anne. "Tell me what happened."
So I told her that I'd offered overtime. I told her how I pulled staff back from breaks and that I'd taken ringbacks but volumes were high and staffing levels were low.
"I heard that you allowed Jo to have an hour long break in the afternoon," She said cocking the gun that said all it needed to say. Her source was now obvious but somehow the time scale concerned had been through some sort of clerical black hole in the journey from Argumentative Man to Jez to Anne, and had been distorted from its actual 2 minute reality.
I told her the truth, although whether she believed it or not was uncertain.
Later I discovered just how perceptive the rest of the team were in our weekly team meeting. With a lot of sabre rattling, they moaned how Jez's team were quick to pass work back to you if it was yours but would not take it off you if it was theirs and you'd been unfortunate enough to receive the call.
They picked up on the fact that even though Jez has more staff, their output is far less per head than mine.
"Just what does Jez's team do exactly? Apart from slagging off everyone else in the department,"
I wallowed in the shared moment for minute before doing the professional thing and reasoning the issue into its rightful state of indifference.
With any luck, Jez's gameplay will see him promoted out of the department before long.
Today it was the high volume of calls.
"Handled rates were particularly low yesterday," said Anne. "Tell me what happened."
So I told her that I'd offered overtime. I told her how I pulled staff back from breaks and that I'd taken ringbacks but volumes were high and staffing levels were low.
"I heard that you allowed Jo to have an hour long break in the afternoon," She said cocking the gun that said all it needed to say. Her source was now obvious but somehow the time scale concerned had been through some sort of clerical black hole in the journey from Argumentative Man to Jez to Anne, and had been distorted from its actual 2 minute reality.
I told her the truth, although whether she believed it or not was uncertain.
Later I discovered just how perceptive the rest of the team were in our weekly team meeting. With a lot of sabre rattling, they moaned how Jez's team were quick to pass work back to you if it was yours but would not take it off you if it was theirs and you'd been unfortunate enough to receive the call.
They picked up on the fact that even though Jez has more staff, their output is far less per head than mine.
"Just what does Jez's team do exactly? Apart from slagging off everyone else in the department,"
I wallowed in the shared moment for minute before doing the professional thing and reasoning the issue into its rightful state of indifference.
With any luck, Jez's gameplay will see him promoted out of the department before long.
19 February 2007
Monday - The Most Argumentative Man in the World
I had a run in today with the most argumentative man in the world. Of course, he works in Jez's team and for that reason alone, is seen as one of the rising stars in the department.
I don't know what hold Jez has over Anne, but it can only involve Polaroids or a plain brown envelope. But I digress. TMAMITW who will from this point on be named Argumentative Man accosted me on the stairs and started bemoaning the high volume of calls that the department is currently struggling to cope with.
"We need more people on the phone," he said, argumentatively.
I agreed with him but this only seemed to annoy him even more. I got the distinct impression that if it would have stood up in court, he would have disembowelled me with with his company issue biro there and then. To Argumentative Man, even agreement is not enough, agreement is merely asking for trouble.
"Jo in your team has been on a break for over half an hour!" he cried. This I knew was a lie. She'd been away for two minutes at the most.
"I'll go and ask her to return if we're inundated," I said Chamberlain-like.
"That's far too long," Argumentative Man continued as if he hadn't heard what I just said. "The phones are far too busy. We need more people taking calls," He shouted, raising his voice even more.
"Everyone who can be on is on. We'll start taking ring backs to ease congestion." I told Argumentative Man.
"Ringbacks are no good. We need more staff," Continued Argumentative Man as if he expected me to pull some fully trained temps out of my pocket.
I left him on the stairs to continue his argument alone. I imagine that the fire extinguisher would have been a more suitable opponent for him.
I don't know what hold Jez has over Anne, but it can only involve Polaroids or a plain brown envelope. But I digress. TMAMITW who will from this point on be named Argumentative Man accosted me on the stairs and started bemoaning the high volume of calls that the department is currently struggling to cope with.
"We need more people on the phone," he said, argumentatively.
I agreed with him but this only seemed to annoy him even more. I got the distinct impression that if it would have stood up in court, he would have disembowelled me with with his company issue biro there and then. To Argumentative Man, even agreement is not enough, agreement is merely asking for trouble.
"Jo in your team has been on a break for over half an hour!" he cried. This I knew was a lie. She'd been away for two minutes at the most.
"I'll go and ask her to return if we're inundated," I said Chamberlain-like.
"That's far too long," Argumentative Man continued as if he hadn't heard what I just said. "The phones are far too busy. We need more people taking calls," He shouted, raising his voice even more.
"Everyone who can be on is on. We'll start taking ring backs to ease congestion." I told Argumentative Man.
"Ringbacks are no good. We need more staff," Continued Argumentative Man as if he expected me to pull some fully trained temps out of my pocket.
I left him on the stairs to continue his argument alone. I imagine that the fire extinguisher would have been a more suitable opponent for him.
13 February 2007
Tuesday - six hours, thirty-one minutes and counting
Kate's boyfriend has organised a romantic Valentine's Day break in a Lake District Cottage tomorrow for the two of them. As a result Kate's been counting the minutes until the end of the day when she leaves and doesn't return to the office until next Monday.
"Of course I might not get there at all if the Sap Nav has anything to do with it," She told the team.
"Surely you mean Sat Nav," smirked Dan desperate to correct her.
"No. When the only form of in-car navigation is my boyfriend and the 2002 AA Gazzeteer, its exactly what I mean," said Kate.
"Of course I might not get there at all if the Sap Nav has anything to do with it," She told the team.
"Surely you mean Sat Nav," smirked Dan desperate to correct her.
"No. When the only form of in-car navigation is my boyfriend and the 2002 AA Gazzeteer, its exactly what I mean," said Kate.
06 February 2007
Tuesday - Man Flu
It's that time of year again. We have casualties across the office, lost to the latest bug to hit the building.
I look forward reading the self-certification notices when the staff return. It's always a viral infection or flu, never a cold. A cold just sounds as if you need to put on another layer of clothing, but the fact is, unless you're immobile for a week, it's a cold.
Of course I've been struggling in work with my own 'flu' this week, but I'm a team leader and I have to set an example and so I have to face down the calls from the team for me to go home because 'I'm spreading my germs,'
"I'm past the infectious stage," I told the team, knowingly quoting from my HR absence management course and then spluttering into my coffee.
I look forward reading the self-certification notices when the staff return. It's always a viral infection or flu, never a cold. A cold just sounds as if you need to put on another layer of clothing, but the fact is, unless you're immobile for a week, it's a cold.
Of course I've been struggling in work with my own 'flu' this week, but I'm a team leader and I have to set an example and so I have to face down the calls from the team for me to go home because 'I'm spreading my germs,'
"I'm past the infectious stage," I told the team, knowingly quoting from my HR absence management course and then spluttering into my coffee.
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