The company has just presented Short Shouty Bloke with a brand new Mercedes as a bonus for bringing in a large and profitable account. This was news was announced glowingly in today's Company Weekly Bulletin causing Dan to seethe with envy and Gareth to start polishing his Magnum .45.
Of course there isn't much profit left once we've paid out for all the extra staff to deal with the generated complaints - the customer base for this account being the over 65's, in particular pensioners that would make Victor Meldew seem like a really happy-go-lucky kind of chap - the complaints ratio is effectively 1 to every policy sold.
That's in addition to the inordinate delays in the business transfer process which isn't even working because this project was all rushed through under the catch-all mantra of 'It's a profitable account' and corners had to be cut and unrealistic deadlines met because 'it was a profitable account.'
Short Shouty Bloke has zoomed into the sunset in his brand new Merc, happy in the knowledge that he brought in the account within deadline and oblivious to the fact that what he brought in doesn't actually work.
Of course there isn't much profit left once we've paid out for all the extra staff to deal with the generated complaints - the customer base for this account being the over 65's, in particular pensioners that would make Victor Meldew seem like a really happy-go-lucky kind of chap - the complaints ratio is effectively 1 to every policy sold.
That's in addition to the inordinate delays in the business transfer process which isn't even working because this project was all rushed through under the catch-all mantra of 'It's a profitable account' and corners had to be cut and unrealistic deadlines met because 'it was a profitable account.'
Short Shouty Bloke has zoomed into the sunset in his brand new Merc, happy in the knowledge that he brought in the account within deadline and oblivious to the fact that what he brought in doesn't actually work.
But then getting the system to work wouldn't have got him his Merc.
When the board eventually come looking for someone to blame (clue - it won't be SSB) I'll be hiding under a rock somehwere and I won't come out until the last of the corpses have been buried.
When the board eventually come looking for someone to blame (clue - it won't be SSB) I'll be hiding under a rock somehwere and I won't come out until the last of the corpses have been buried.
1 comment:
Hmmm, seems cool.
Joe joestain13@yahoo.com
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