Thursday - The X Factor

Jo came in today wearing something that - as Dan described it - 'looked like something that his Nana would use as a cushion,'

"You're always getting at me," Jo retorted. "You laugh at the things I do. Calling me Nicki. You made fun of my boyfriend and think that he's a git." She said.

"No. We don't think he's a git," I told her in my most concerned supervisory tone.

"I'm not seeing him anymore," Jo said.

"Ok," said Gareth. "Actually he is a git then. We always thought he was."

"You could do better than him," added Ted. Dan looked hopeful. The look on his face faded when Sue emerged from Jez's team. Her arm was in a plastercast. The result of a longwinded incident involving one of her cats, some worming tablets and a swivel chair.

"There's a funny smell coming from my PC," She told me eyeing up Kate's empty desk expectantly. This was a strange excuse from a woman to whom I'd had to explain the use of deoderant in a civilised society.

I asked her to tell Jez, but he was in a meeting.

"I don't want to use it in case it electrocutes me or summat," She said (Sue was from Leeds)

I was about to show her to Kate's empty desk but saw the look of extreme panic in Dan's eyes. I found another desk away from our team.

"You ever upset me and I'm requesting that she's transfered to our team," I told Dan.