Tuesday - The studmeister

"I don't feel too cough cough cough well," said Jo when she called up this morning. She had improved. Her Mum no longer phoned on her behalf and she'd stopped texting in her sick notes. This was however her fifth day off sick since January. One more day and I would have to activate the whirring cogs of the HR Abscence Management Process. The final stages of which meant attendance at a review meeting where I would discuss disciplinary action - not because she was sick - that didn't comply with employment regulations - but as a review of her work performance given as a result of her minimal attendance. It's all in the semantics. Say it often enough and you almost believe it yourself.

In Jo's absence, Dave strutted around like a rooster in the hen house.

"Alright Company man," He greeted me.

"'Ows it goin' monkeyboy," He said to Dan. "That Kate's alright int she." He continued as she walked past. "A bit on the big side but I reckon she's really dirty. If you know what I mean,"

"Did you just walk out of a monty python sketch?" I asked him. This was enough to send him scurrying back to his den.

"This is going in my blog!" said Dan to no-one in particular.