Tuesday - Wax on, wax off

I used to be sold on the corporate idea and that if you worked hard then you did well.

It worked for a while. For a time I was committed. I could espouse the core company values of Dynamism, Intuition, Servicability and Team work (Teamwork got dropped as a company value when the company closed four offices and laid off 870 staff) and after a year I was promoted. But things have changed. I wanted to be the best boss ever. I learnt how not to be the best from watching Anne. But now in the company's eyes I'm trailing in the slipstream of Jez's ascendancy.

Ted used to be a high flyer in the City. He wants none of it now, but he's become Qui Gonn Jinn to my Obi Wan Kenobi.

The first lesson is presentation. Forget, doing a good job. Make sure that you're wearing the right suit, the right shoes and keep that chin up.

"Jacket on or off," I ask Ted.

"On. always. And make sure that everyone calls you on your mobile and that you use plenty of five syllable words in every sentence,"

"I don't know that many words with five syllables," I protested.

Ted looked at me pointedly. "And no negative terms. Particularly when referring to yourself,"

"Sorry. What I meant was - I would certainly be able to articulate to those targets within the alloted timescales,"

Ted smiled. "That's more like it,"