I'm back! The engineer has been and fixed the line and (fingers crossed) it will hold.
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The theme for today has been making sure our processes are up to date and fully documented. A visit from audit is imminent and Annes aim is that every time someone takes a pen from the stationery cupboard, everything is logged and processed as according to auditable procedures.
If anyone has requested help with a task, Anne's head has bobbed up from her hole and she's shouted "Look in the process manual! If it's not there you can't do it,"
All week the process manual has become our bible. Everything has to be followed step-by-step to the most minute detail.
I offered to get the team drinks from the machine later and Gareth and Dan asked if I needed the process to do it.
"We're not joking," Dan said handing me an official looking procedure document that they'd drafted. "Perhaps you could do a dry run to make sure it works,"
I took the procedure and followed the instructions to the letter.
1) Take piece of paper - not A4, but A4 cut in half will do
2) Ask each team member for their preferred beverage. Record their choice on piece of paper.
3) Find pen to write down choice of drink.
4) If more than 2 people require drinks. Obtain company drink holder from cupboard by forms cabinet.
5) Go to rest room.
6) Press button for drink.
7) Place drink on tray.
8) For each drink on list repeat steps 6 - 7
9) Return to team.
10) If any team members have same drink but one with sugar and one without. Guess which is which and offer drinks to both while saying; "I think this one has sugar(no sugar) in it. If it has(hasn't) give it to -------(insert name)
11. Distribute drinks to rest of team making sure that any team members on a phone call are aware that a piping hot drink has been placed very close to their arm and will make a keyboard very sticky if they move too soon.
12) Return to drinks machine to get own drink.
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2 comments:
This isn't clear enough for me.
Did Dan and Gareth write up this process for drink-fetching as a joke? Or do they actually think Anne wishes that this be added to the process manual? What did Anne say or do to make them think that?
Unless they're joking, your office is seriously screwed up.
Thanks for providing further proof of how efficient the private sector isn't. I'll be referring to it to rebut these lingering American privatization political efforts.
They're definitely joking. Of course I should be asking them where they found the time in our busy schedule to draw up the drinks machien process. I bet they didn't do it at home and in their own time!
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