Wednesday - The Way Things Are

And lo, the Chief Executive - He Who Is Always Right Until the Shareholders Decide Otherwise - decreed that we should form an alliance with Company Zed. They are a good company and profitable and it will be rewarding for us, He declared. Their Chief Executive also frequents my club.

And so he called forth his lieutenants and he told them of his plans and the date by which he wanted them to be complete. And they knew that they were bad and his plans did not exist in the realm of reality but they did not tell him this because he was the Chief Executive - He Who Is Always Right Until the Shareholders Decide Otherwise - and they feared for their positions of authority and their weighty salaries for which they had skillfully licked many arses and stabbed numerous backs.

And so the lieutenants beckoned their sub-ordinates and told them of the plans of the chief executive which had now been named 'Project Leaping Panther'. And their sub-ordinates knew that the plans were bad and could not be complete by the date by which they needed to be complete but they held their tongues because He Who Is Always Right Until the Shareholders Decide Otherwise had decreed that this be so and he lives in a dimension where they word 'No' is never uttered.

And so the sub-ordinates called forth their teams and told them of 'Project Leaping Panther'. And their teams - whose feet walked upon the Earth - knew that these plans were bad and that they could not be achieved and because their feet walked upon the Earth they told the sub-ordinates this but the sub-ordinates told them that this will be achieved because He Who Is Always Right Until the Shareholders Decide Otherwise had decreed this be so and if that was the case it would and anyone who would not obey would be deemed an outsider and cast out to 'Projects' never to be seen again.

And so the teams began work on the plans for 'Project Leaping Panther' knowing that they would not be achieved, in the hope that another team would stand up and tell the sub-ordinates that they could not be achieved. But they could not do this because they feared for their jobs, but their colleagues also, were in the same position and held their tongues and so work continued even though it was fruitless.

And the teams and sub-ordinates gathered on many an occassion to discuss 'Project Leaping Panther' and although they all knew that the plans were bad they persisted. And they offered enough evidence to each other to cease their work on 'Project Leaping Panther' but because they feared for their jobs and He Who Is Always Right Until the Shareholders Decide Otherwise had decreed that this be so no one spoke out because he did not know the word 'No' and lived in a alternate dimension.

And so the work was finished but it was not completed and those that were given it saw that it was bad and that it did not work and they said so. And those that were customers of the work saw that it was bad and that it did not work and they said so too. And they wrote many letters of complaint. And He Who Is Always Right Until the Shareholder Decide Otherwise got to know about this and he called forth his lieutenants and said: 'Find He Who is Responsible for this and punish him accordingly.'

And so the lieutenants went forth and spake unto their sub-ordinates and issued the command from He Who Is Always Right Until the Shareholders Decide Otherwise.

And the sub-ordinates called forth their teams and declared that He Who is Repsonsible is to be punished. And those that had not spoken out because they had feared for their jobs now spoke out against their colleagues until such a time as one of them had been selected and was justly punished and moved to Projects until such a time as they left the company.

And it was so.